Eshet Chayil
Parsha Chayye Sarah
"Possessing the Gates"

"The Woman's Role as Keeper or Guard of the Home"

When God desires to bring forth an example for women in modesty and conduct, he mentions Sarah. "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.... for after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." (1 Peter 3:1-6)

Before we address her wifely role in examples of both modesty and conduct, let's briefly examine her background and the definition of her name. Let us also take a look at the question, "Why do we look to Sarah as an example?"

Sarah had her moments as every woman does; yet, she understood very clearly her role as Abraham's wife and as God's daughter. It is no wonder then that God changed Sarah's name from "Sarai" which means, "dominative" to "Sarah" which means, "princess." Her name comes from the Hebrew root word, "sar." Sar is an interesting word as it means, "a head person (of any rank or class)-a captain, chief, general, governor, keeper, lord, master, ruler, steward, prince (ess). Not to complicate matters, but "sar" actually comes from another word, "sarar." "Sarar" means, "to have, exercise, or get dominion. To make thyself a prince or ruler."

The definition of Sarah's name is appropriate as she is the wife of a man whose name means, "father, master, oxen, to take seed." Abraham not only fathered the promise, but his obedience to God caused all the nations to fear him and His God-even kings bowed to Abraham." Both were leaders in the respective roles: Abram in the tent door and Sarah inside the tent.

Both Abram's name and Sarai's name changed when he was circumcised. When the covenant of circumcision was instituted Abram's name was changed to Abraham and Sarai's was changed to "Sarah." The change added the "Hey" the second letter in God's name to each of their names. She became the mother of the promise and her name went from "dominative" to "a female noble-lady, princess, and queen."

Her status changed when Abraham's changed. It was not based upon her own merit, but upon the merit of her husband. She was rewarded because of his obedience to God. This is significant, because the exact opposite happened in Gan Eden. The status of a woman changed from co-equal to subservient because of Adam's disobedience.

Rav Shaul (Apostle Paul) says that women who have become partakers of Abraham's seed are "the daughters of Sarah." In Hebrew being the 'daughter of' or 'son of' someone or something implies have that person or things qualities. This is expressed by the prayer a Jewish father will pray over his daughter before the Friday evening meal, "May God make you like Sarah, Rivkah, Leah and Rachel," the four Mothers of Israel; he then blesses her with the Aaronic benediction, "Adonai bless thee, and keep thee: Adonai make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: Adonai lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace."

Furthermore, Rav Shaul says that "to be a daughter of Sarah you do not succumb to fear." This statement literally means, "do not succumb to neurotic anxiety." The anxious feelings may not go away, but one can gain a right perspective on them, not by suppressing them and denying their existence, but by acknowledging them, while at the same time experiencing that God's peace, His Shalom, a fruit of His Spirit, is stronger, as is God's power, love and self-control (1 Ti 1:7). Seek God's rulership instead of dwelling on anxious thoughts and worries (Mt 6:25-26, 33). The basic fear is of death, which many women succumb to when they think of what could happen to their child(ren) when outside of the home. Yeshua abolished death (2 Ti 1:10) and set believers free from the fear of death (Heb 2:15). JNT Commentary

As daughters of Sarah, let's look at Sarah's responsibilities as the wife of Abraham, as there are some notable inferences that we can draw from certain passages. The first inference I would like to address is: her place and position as Abraham's wife.

After Abraham received the covenant of circumcision and circumcised all the males of his home, he was visited by Adonai. Where was Abraham when Adonai and his angels visited him? He was sitting in the tent door in the heat of the day. After communing with the heavenly host he "hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth." He then scurried to prepare the meat for the meal. As his guests were eating they asked, "Where is Sarah your wife?" And he said, "Behold, in the tent."

In Middle Eastern culture the host does not sit with the guest but attends to his needs while he eats, and the highest honor afforded the wife is based upon her domestic excellence.

When visited by strangers both Abraham and Sarah were in their proper place and abiding within their respective roles. Abraham was in the door or the gate conducting business and Sarah was in the tent attending to her responsibilities in the home. Subsequently, as a team they were able to effectively and speedily provide gracious hospitality to their guests. Have you ever thought, "what would have happened if Sarah was away from the home at that moment? What if she was out gossiping with the neighborhood women when these three guests arrived? If she were anywhere else-she would have missed "the promise."

As daughters of Sarah, we too have responsibilities in the tent. Tent, although significant for a dwelling place as in home or tabernacle, possesses a higher meaning, "to be clear-to shine." When a tent was pitched in ancient days it became a dwelling place that was clearly conspicuous from a distance. It also is a covering.

When God "made man," the scriptures say that he "made them both male and female." He called their name Adam. Jewish thought teaches that Adam was an androgynous unit when he was formed. He possessed both the masculine and feminine attributes of God. Chave (Eve) literally dwelt within him. Therefore, when God made Eve he took from Adam that which already existed and placed it inside of a separate body. Adam then says, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

In our scripture reference about Abraham and Sarah we find that Sarah was responsible for all that took place within the home/tabernacle. She was responsible for what was on the inside. 1st Peter 3 makes mention that God is not looking for outward adornment, but a meek and quiet spirit on the inside. Although this passage refers to individuals, it also can be a guideline for governing the home. She was hidden from the eyes of others. But, her hiddeness became the vehicle for Abraham's greatness.

Notice that Sarah was prepared. She diligently attended to the inside of the tent. She was the keeper of the Home. She governed and ruled over that domain. He husband could easily count on her in the time of need. Her priority was her home, not herself. She made sure that everything was in order and well attended too. She submitted to Abraham and in turn Abraham trusted her. Trust between husband and wife is developed through good stewardship of what a husband puts into the hands of his wife. A wife may automatically expect her husband to trust her when they get married, but on the contrary, trust is developed over time.

Proverbs 31: 10-31 describes the responsibilities and far reaching effect of Sarah and her daughters. It gives detailed instructions to her responsibilities. Here is a generalized list: An accomplished woman is a guardian of her husbands' heart and he trusts her with the affairs of the home. Her thoughts are always toward him and what she can do to further his career and influence in the land. She works with her hands to provide the necessities of her home. She diligently goes to the excess of acquiring what she needs to prepare the dishes and meals that her husband and family desire. She is diligent to make sure everything is prepared before it is time to be served or needed. She keeps the home tidy and clean. She considers her neighborhood and how she can assist others. She looks to God through prayer and daily devotion to receive the strength required for her duties. She has an excellent spirit and perceives that she does well. Her conscience is clear. She always considers the poor and needy inviting them into her home or sending them whatever is needed. She makes sure her children are fed, clothed, and taught as a princess and princesses being prepared for the throne. All her efforts are directed toward her husband becoming a leader in the land. She knows the laws of proper speech and safely guards her mouth to ensure she doesn't talebearer or slander. She is always guarding and protecting her home and her family. This is why she exists. This is her first priority. All other activities are seemingly insignificant to ensuring the moral, ethical and integral upbringing of her children for the honor of God and her husband.

When a house is in order and the atmosphere of the home is one of peace, it becomes a refuge and source of strength and joy for her husband. Thus, each day her husband is able to "be clear" in his thoughts and actions and "shine" or "excel" in all his labor.

In closing, I would like to note that I have often been challenged with questions regarding the priorities of wives in relationship to their relationship with God. Do I stay home and take care of my unsaved family or do I give myself to prayer and involvement with the church at the expense of my family? If you are a daughter of Sarah and look to her as your example, you will see and understand that without a doubt God's favor rests upon the woman who first tends to her home. You are the governor of your home. If you neglect your home destruction will be imminent. Children, even in the older years, cannot raise themselves. I have also seen women who are intercessors pray to the extent that they fail to take care of their homes and children. It causes problems within the home and sets forth a bad example to both the husband and the children. A wife's conduct is what God uses to win her husband and family. Let us first take care of our responsibilities given us by God and then entreat the LORD as to those things which we can add which will not diminish are called responsibilities. Anything in your life that is contrary to the benefit of the whole family is not a benefit to anyone.

Let's become Sarah's daughters by first being found "in the tent" attending to all that God has put in our hands.

May You Be Like Sarah, Rebekah, Leah, and Rachel